If you’ve followed me on any form of social media, you probably know that I will pull extended disappearing acts. I’m not exactly clear why, but I think it’s hard for me to remain present in public spaces for various reasons. This last few years have been fairly brutal for me: death, betrayal, confusion…just lots of pain in general. And my art has taken a big hit as a result. I just stopped creating. I almost stopped caring. Not completely, but almost.
Beginning again takes a certain amount of hope, and I have felt buried under hopelessness for a fairly long time. So I just hunkered down and waited. I don’t know what I was waiting for, and to tell you the truth, I’m kicking myself for that. But kicking myself is never very helpful. So I’m allowing myself to just begin without all the nasty self-talk. Here we go.
I moved to a new home at the end of May, and I think that has kick-started my life in a way. (There’s that kicking metaphor again…knock it off Terri!) It’s a lovely little apartment in a fourplex I share with people who are genuinely lovely. The process of downsizing has been good for me. I gave away at least half of my belongings, and it felt freeing, like setting down a heavy backpack that I didn’t realize was crippling me.
Then I set up my studio.
A new studio space is a magical thing. It gives you permission to arrange your life in ways that make creation sing in you again. And I signed up for an online art course with my online art fairy godmother, Lucy Brydon. Lucy is from Scotland, and I’ve loved her from the very beginning of my art journey. When I found out she was offering a course that was interesting to me I enrolled even though I was in the middle of moving craziness. I’m so glad I did. Here’s a few pieces I’ve created as a result of her gentle direction.
This feels like home. Like it’s OK to begin again.